


Nowhere

by Sarie_Fairy



Series: Fictober 2020 [8]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grief, Post-Episode: s07e22 Requiem (X-Files), sad scully
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26893375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarie_Fairy/pseuds/Sarie_Fairy
Summary: FICTOBER Day 8 - Prompt: “I never wanted anything else”Scully goes to Mulder's apartment alone, sometime after Requiem.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Series: Fictober 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951573
Comments: 20
Kudos: 49





	Nowhere

The scent hit her first, reverberated off the walls with the clicking of her heels. _His_ smell. More redolent of home than her neat, ordered apartment. Mulder’s dark den. The mahogany wood trapping the light, holding onto it like the sorrow that seemed woven into his existence.

Stilling herself at the threshold, she wondered faintly if sadness could be passed on—oxygenation, nutrient-rich blood and grief from mother to child. That idea would have sent a pang to her chest had her heart not already been clamped within the icy grip of her unrelenting despair.

She scraped the key into his lock and held her breath, waiting for the ghosts—whispers of conversations, of lids, snapping off takeout containers, buttered popcorn and cult films, gunshots and blood on the rug, desperate embraces, clinked beers and conspiracy theories.

Of the senses, the most powerful link to memory is smell, and she sunk into it. Drowning herself. Wrapped herself within his sheets, a work shirt rescued from the hamper, clutched to her heart—the pinstriped fabric, soaked in her tears.

They once made love where she was lay, balled up on her side. Mulder’s single-minded intensity overwhelming her as he big-spooned her in the afterglow, naked and warm. Scully wasn’t prepared for his confessions of love. Panicked when he told her, “I never wanted anything else,” as he fell into sleep behind her. So, she took the cowards way out and left before he woke.

Waves of wretched sadness began pulling her under at the memory. His expression, forearms bracketing her face, before they kissed for eternity, his hips cradled between her thighs. How they joined as one with the cosmos, undulating with the moon and the tides. How she had never made love with someone who looked at her like she was the sun. Touched her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. Like she might break. Or disappear.

A pain ripped though her chest and heaved out on a sob as she wished, with futility, for that time back. Never had she ever wanted anything more than to live that one single moment over again.

But she couldn’t. And there was nowhere to hide. He had permeated every part of her life. Her very being.

He was everywhere,

except… he was nowhere.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be posting something new each day in October for Fictober from this tumblr [prompt list](https://fictober-event.tumblr.com/post/628547358001594368/fictober-event-the-prompts-for-2020%22).
> 
> Subscribe to the series [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951573)
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments most welcome 💕


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